


I Loved Somebody Like You

by JustNeyda



Category: Phandom
Genre: It's implied Dan and Phil, M/M, sorry for the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustNeyda/pseuds/JustNeyda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter about loving someone like you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Loved Somebody Like You

I used to love somebody like you.

He played guitar with the same spirit that you cook your famous blueberry waffles with. 

He spoke of Shakespeare the same way you speak about the weird pigeon guy at the end of Maple St.

He shared a lot of the interest you have. 

Yeah. I loved that about him, and I think that’s what broke us.

When I met him my skies grew brighter and the sun shined more, as cliché as that sounds. I was in a tough spot when he found me, I had just dropped out of college to pursue the crazy idea of theater. It didn’t work out, and I ended up working at a gas station on the outskirts of town. And that’s when I saw him for the first time. He came into the small store and bought a few snacks, as he paid he told me he was off on another adventure. 

I think that’s why I fell in love, the feeling of adventure.

The second time I saw him he had returned from his adventure and brought me a rock. Not as a exciting as a shirt or postcard but pretty meaningful. He told me that that rock he’d just given me was what caused him to pull into the gas station on the first place . He said “Had it not been for this rock I would have driven straight ahead” He told me that the rock had gotten caught underneath the car and that it was making an annoying sound so he had to remove it. It just so happened that the gas station he pulled into was where I was at. Told me it was destiny that brought us together.

The third and fourth time were within the hour of each other. When he walked in the first time that day he told me he was off again, somewhere heading towards Seattle. He grabbed a drink and a snack and hopped into his car. I carried on with my work. He returned 20 minutes later and said he’d forgotten something. When I asked him what, he said “you” 

You can see why my heart did a flip and why my face got red with the excess heat. He brought back a spark of life in me. I left work that very minute.

We traveled together and for a moment I could picture us growing old at each other’s side. 

One day I mentioned the idea of forever. And to this day I wonder if I would still be with him had I never mentioned forever. He stiffened up at the sound of the word. He didn’t speak to me for hours that day. And when he finally did he said “I’m taking you home” 

For a year I waited. Hoping that he’d come back to me. For a year I stared at my cellphone screen hoping that he would call. But he never did. He never showed up into that gas station again. It’s as if he’d vanished and fallen off the face of the earth. 

I heard later through one of his friends that he’d gotten married to a girl in California and that they were awaiting the arrival of a baby girl. It finally dawned on me that the word forever didn’t scare him off it was the though of forever with me that did.

I had never felt what dying was but I assure you that it was death I felt that day. My whole world came crashing down, even if it bad been a year since I had seen him.   
Yeah you could say I was in love with him.

So you can see how your morning pancakes and pigeon talks made me miss him. I could still feel his spirit within you, I could see him through the things you did and the way you spoke. I know you hurt when I shut down on you. When I say “how strange” to your stories of weird ladies on the bus. I can see how you thought I didn’t love you. I could see you tried your best to cheer me up. But it was hard. I would never be able to tell you about him and how he made me feel. 

And it was harder to enjoy my time with you when I spent every waking moment scared that you would leave me. How I wanted to say I love you on pancake days, but the fear that you wouldn’t say it back scared me.

And so here I am. Sat at my desk at 3:15 am while you’re snoring dead asleep on the other side. Now you will understand. You will understand why I had to leave. You will understand that I loved you but I can’t be with you. I see that I’ve turned into him but I see that it was inevitable. It was inevitable that I would turn into him because he was always everywhere. But I want you to live your life. Find someone who will make you as happy as you made me. Don’t try to think of me to much. It will only hurt you. 

I love you Phil. 

Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry :(


End file.
